The mind is a powerful thing.  What you concentrate on is what you get and you’ll do anything to get it if that’s what you’ve made your top priority.   I believe this.

Sutra 3.1 Desa bandhas cittasya dharana: Dharana is holding the mind in one place.

Dharana, concentration is the binding of the mind’s attention to a single object, place or idea.  While I am not quick to judge a homeless person’s choice of object to concentrate on, we can control the mind through this singleminded concentration method.  There are a wide variety of objects you can choose to concentrate on.. whether that is being fixated on the flickering of a candle, an imagery, a mantra, booze or your breath, we can become masters of our own mind.   The main point is to focus.  The power of focus stops the constant wandering of our wacky minds. 

This (dharana) shouldn’t be confused with meditation (sutra 3.2 dhyana).  Maybe next week’s sutra will be on 3.2… for now, think of dharana as objects of concentration.  There is a subject (you) and an object (candle, image, booze). 

Being able to concentrate on a single point or object sets the stage for meditation and the journey inward… or in the homeless person’s case booze.  I’m not quick to judge… who knows, perhaps his object of concentration also helps him stop the incessant chatter of his mind that might be saying self destructive comments of worthlessness, failure, scum of the earth type self criticism.  I’m not endorsing that booze is the answer, but we’ve all experienced our wacky minds in this way.  I’m sure many of you have also experienced the effects of a focused mind… and how powerful a focused  mind can take you to wherever you want to go and achieve whatever you wanted to achieve. 

Source:  The Wisdom of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra by Ravi Ravindra and The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Gary Kissiah

This is what my yoga practice has helped to cultivate… a sense of gratitude, simplicity, happiness, and healing.

I’m sure you’ve recently read about the yoga bashing, How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body, and the voice of advocates on  how to avoid injuries during yoga.  I really didn’t want to jump in on this conversation, but since the article shines light on how a yoga posture can wreck your body, I’m prompted to re-ask a question that came up for me last year while in a class with Bryan Kest… ”why do you practice a yoga posture and more importantly how does practicing a yoga posture contribute to the world? how does it make you a better person?”  

Have I gotten injured while doing a yoga pose?  Yes.  Have I gotten injured while participating in another activity or sport?  Yes.  Have I gotten injured from simply bending over to pick up something on the floor?  Yes.  The point is, the possibility of getting injured doing anything is highly likely.  This isn’t the only point.  Perhaps a better question is why do we go to the point of injury during yoga or whatever sport we’re doing?

While it’s only day 13 of the handstand challenge, I’m feeling great and confident.  I can see the progress I’ve made in such a short amount of time.  I can see the progress my students have made.  I can also hear the voice in my head get more confident arrogant.   The voice celebrates every time I reach a milestone… every time I land a handstand.  It chuckles.  It grins.  It wants more… not tomorrow, but “do it again, right now.”  It doesn’t hear my shoulders crying with fatigue.  ”Just one more,” the voice says.

Hmmm… the Voice who often goes by the name, Ego.  We know all this voice and how it’s capable of bullying us around.  Can you say, “INJURY?”  Enough said.

The first time I got injured, I was able to distinguish that voice in my head from the voice in my body.  In that moment, I learned how yoga can hurt but it also can heal. 

My practice has healed me physically.  Made my body stronger.  Straightened my posture.  Lengthened my spine.  Expanded my lung capacity.

It has healed me mentally.  Took me out of my head.  Out of the sickening, self destructing negative thought patterns and outbursts of irresponsible outbursts and reactions. 

It has healed me spiritually.  It gave me a way to connect to my spirit. To connect with others.  To see that we are all one in the same.  To see that I am an infinite light full of love. 

Hmmm… what a great side effect of practicing some yoga postures.. some often very odd looking. 

Here’s to handstands this year:

Making progress everyday and one day I will be able to just lift up.. ok that was my ego voice talking, but not at the expense of an injury.  This challenge has brought together so many new friends, inspiration, motivation, and a sense of healing in our own ways.

I’m grateful for another day to be able to practice my handstands.  Lucky day indeed!

More handstand prep techniques using straps.  One step at a time…

Thank you to those who have sent me some pictures and videos already of you practicing… it inspires me.. so keep sending them in (snikkin at yahoo dot com).

How appropriate is this first sutra to kick this series off, to kick off my 365 day handstand challenge, to kick off 2012.. focused on learning.

“Atha” means now and “Anusasanam” means instruction, discipline.

Sutra 1.1. Atha Yoga Anusasanam: Here, now is the teaching of yoga. 

It doesn’t matter where you are in your life, in your situation, in your <insert favorite excuse>, the practice of yoga begins right now in this moment.  Each moment is the right moment… the present moment is the right time, right place, and provides the exact conditions for us to begin the practice. 

“If not now, then when?” is the cliche phrase that describes this so well.  You don’t need to wait until you’re stronger, more flexible, have more time, have more money, have more <insert favorite excuse>.

All that it (Yoga) requires of you is a ‘yes.’

This is where I will begin time and time again.. especially on those days when my practice starts to wane, when I start to feel discouraged, and when I feel like giving up… begin again.

Source:  The Wisdom of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra by Ravi Ravindra and The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Gary Kissiah

So when I saw this challenge posted on my friend Adrienne’s FB status, I jumped on it.  I’m over joyous!  Since I’ve been practicing my handstands over the course of the last 4 months, I can now invert without touching the wall (on most days).  Some days it’s impossible because my wrist hurts or my shoulder hurts or I just ate too much junk.  On those days, I come back to what is important.  What matters is  how I’m connected to my  breath in and breath out, my inward gaze, and cheesy smile that probably would turn into a burst of laughter instead of whether I did a handstand or not.

Join me… a handstand a day.  Are you up for this?  And if you’re shaking your head ‘no’ and doubting your abilities, watch my video.  Take one step at a time.

As Pattabhi Jois says, “Practice and all is coming…”

image: weheartit.com

2011 was surely a roller coaster ride with lots of love and broken hearts, successes and failures, proud moments and disappointments, new friends and old friends rekindled but mainly lessons galore. I can’t keep track of the number of lessons I’ve encountered (some still in progress of being learned).  All this was driven by one word I choose to live by in 2011.. that word was “risk.”  Some notable risky things I did (risky meaning out of my comfort zone with no excuses and facing my fears, especially the silly ones):  hitched a ride from a total stranger in Wisconsin,  left the U.S. for the very first time by myself, learned how to swim by trying to drown myself, putting myself up on youtube (gah!), conquering my fear of handstands (yay! I can do it without touching the wall.. now gotta trick my mind to go away from the wall), looked love right in the heart even if it meant breaking out of it’s shell, stood up for myself even though I was rubbing people’s feather’s the wrong way and mostly challenging my own way of doing things the same ‘ol way.  

As I dragged my feet through the holiday’s, I could not come up with a new word for 2012.  I thought and thought.  Tried and tried.  Until one morning, I was hiking at my favorite spot with a friend and we were talking about what we wanted to accomplish in 2012.  I said, “I’ve been thinking about my word and I can’t seem to nail it.”  As we walked up the hill, I could hear my breath heaving and it occurred to me that I try too hard!  And I swear to you, I heard a whisper and the voice said “freedom.”  

The view at Castlerock near the end of the hike. I wanna feel free like that climber.

I blurted it out loud, “FREEDOM.”  A sense of ease swept over me.  I was trying so hard to come up with the perfect word and now the perfect word chose me.  How will I be more free in 2012?  Mmm.. let me count the ways:  giving myself space to just let go of control, stop trying to control outcomes, letting go of fears (yes there’s more of them), being in flow and flux with more ease and faith, ohhh faith.. that’s a good one, inviting faith into my life, freeing myself from guilt… practicing forgiveness (of others and especially of myself), giving others freedom by allowing others to be just as they are (this is a good one!), freeing my psyche of past debris and repetitive thoughts, living and loving in the moment.. let’s repeat that one, living and loving in the moment. 

I’m exicted to have FREEDOM guide me in 2012.  Do you choose a word?  What are your resolutions?

Here’s a recap of my favorite posts from 2011:

Jan:  Would You Laugh If

Feb: I Get To

Mar: Condoms, Duct Tape and Rope

Apr: Touch Me, Squeeze Me, Hug Me

May: Triumph

June: Thank Goodness It’s Monday

July: Another Year Older and Happier

Aug: Life Right Now

Sept: Leading With Your Heart

Oct: Lessons Learned

Nov: Shit Happens, Regardless

Dec: The Space Between

Feeling much gratitude for you for reading, sharing of yourself here, and walking this journey with me!!!  

Last night I took a class by one of my favorites, Prajna and she really pinched a nerve in me by telling a story about the blue guy, Krishna, who plays the flute and attracts a bunch of love affairs (Prajna tells it much more eloquently).  The love affairs are not what we think love affairs really are… they are a form of personal devotion to him, Krishna, whom they see as their Guide.  

image: http://www.krishnasmercy.org/dotnetnuke/Worship/LordKrishna/tabid/60/Default.aspx

I’d have to be honest and say that I like to hear about these Hindu gods through stories like this, but I’m not interested in learning more about them… probably because I have this huge resistance to the G word.  I know that there are many interpretations of God and there are many deities whom people worship but I don’t have a specific deity to devote to so hence the resistance…. until I realize that the word “devotion” doesn’t have to be tied to worshiping a diety… it’s more like an expression of personal Love.  This expression can be similar to a human-human relationship.  It can also be like a soul and Super Soul(i.e. God, Universe, Higher Power, etc) connection, beloved and lover, parent and child.  Ok… I’m digging this devotion as an expression of personal Love.  So Prajna read to us some very inspiring love poems to God during class and at the end she invited us to write our own if we were moved to.  Here’s mine:

Divine Rhythm

I can’t touch You.
I can’t see You.
I can’t call you by any name.

But there is a rhythm that dances in me.

 In, I breathe You.
Out, I breathe gratitude. 

 You must be here.
Here in my Soul.

You must be here.
Here in my heart.

With every beat and every breath
I feel the touch of divine oneness… called Love.

The space between thoughts…

The space between today and tomorrow…

It is called the present….  It is where life happens.   Sometimes the space is peace.  Sometimes the space is joy.  Sometimes it is love.  Sometimes the space feels anything but love. It’s gray.  It’s unbearable.  It’s uncertain.  Nevertheless, it is a space where life happens. 

How do I deal?

With a crazy yoga transition that matches the intensity of the space between my thoughts, my breath, my life…. in transition from today until tomorrow until the end of time.   Enjoy!  Please laugh at me… and laugh at yourself OFTEN…. for this is how you make it through the space between transitions.

Practice and all is coming…. (that includes your life!) 

“… you are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life.  Your particular life.  Your entire life.  Not just your life at your desk, or your life on the bus, or in the car, or at the computer.  Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart.  Not just your bank account, but your soul. People don’t talk abou the soul very much anymore.  It’s so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit.”

From Anna Quindlen's A Short Guide to a Happy Life

As I believe everything happens for a reason… every moment, every encounter, every challenge… this random page is no coincidence.  It’s so perfect for where I am right now… and NOW is where I’m suppose to be but I can’t help but want to tell the year to hurry up and end. I’m certain you can relate.  The end of the year is quite stressful for many different reasons for most of us and sometimes it’s just easier to just get up every morning and pray you’ll make it through the day.  The hum drum of the day’s activities are just enough to keep you alive in existence.  It’s even quite comfortable there.  By the end of the day, you know you’ll be successful.

Call me out!  I’m guilty as charged.  I’m very good at what I do day in and day out.  It’s very predictable.  Heck, I’m even happy doing it because I really don’t want any extra stress dumped on me.  I thought I was doing very well just existing and surviving each day until I was laying on the table getting my massage today.  I didn’t realize how tense my body was.  Oh the knots and compression in my lower back, upper back, neck to every little crevice.   I realized that in just trying to survive each day, I was slowly killing myself inside.  The more I relaxed into this dull state of being, of hiding, of resisting the people around me and the love of the season, I was cutting off a part of me that I often generously love to share… and that is of my heart.  My body knew.  She closed up.  tensed up. refused to expand.  And here I thought doing the minimum to get by would be better for my health.  

I don’t want an impressive resume… I want to start crafting my spirit again… I hope I bump into you cause I will run you over with love!

L O V E   E V E R Y D A Y…. It’s the part of your life the soul wants to write about. 

Let’s admit it… as much as we’re grateful for friends, families, and thanksgiving gatherings, we are also grateful that the whirlwind of gobble gobble festivities are over and we’re thankful we all got together and we’ll get to see aunties and uncles again…. next year

Here’s a list of what I heard people say they were thankful for:

- pumpkin pie, cranberries, and ice cream

- hope

- a turkey fryer

- that someone else cooked

- forgiveness

- miracles

- dysfunctional family

- mustaches

- iphones, text messaging, and facebook

- turkey trots

- boyfriends (note the ‘s’ lol)

- 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th to infinite second chances

- breath

- hula hoops

- yoga

- surviving

- living in California

- kids

- 49ers

- chardonnay, merlot, pinot noir, and tequila too

- a place to live

- a job

- my “overall” positive attitude

- immigrants

- high heels and ugg boots

- health

- the people who put up with me

- another day of life

- all the wonderful and horrible times because all of it has made me who I am

- my cushy life

- my body.. it does a lot of the things I ask it to do

and of course friends, families, husbands, wives, kids, parents, and grandparents were on top of everyone’s list.

Find something to be grateful for each and every day.  No matter how simple or magnificent the gratitude is, it is the fuel that fires up the love in our hearts.

“I feel a very unusual sensation.. if it’s not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude” ~ Benjamin Disraeli