A few days ago a question from my wordpress pops up and I’ve held it in my mind since… “If you could say anything to anyone without consequence, what would you say, and to whom?”
I consider myself a bull dog when it comes to speaking my mind and more so expressing what’s in my heart… especially when it comes to people I know or if I’m paying for a service… (yea you know the bad service type situation at a business). Sometimes it comes out as harsh. loud. strong. passionate. I bite. No, I open wide, clamp and then bite. Sometimes I grind after the bite. Maybe that’s why I don’t have many friends. Eh…
So in order to be the “yogic” person that I’m suppose to be, I often feel like I have to be the golden retriever… you know small talk, smooze, ‘how are you?’ and then decide either to charge like a bull dog or retreat like a golden. More often than not, holding my tongue ends up with feelings of frustration, anger, and omg regret. Who wants to live from a place of regret? I don’t.
I often have to remind myself to speak from within. It may sound harsh. It may hurt another person. It may scare them. It may bring them more joy. Who knows? Know that when you speak from within, you free yourself from guilt, frustration, fear, anger, and the worse of them all is regret. How the other person reacts is simply that… their reaction. As we let go of our expectation of how the other person is going to or should react like, we can be at peace with our expression.
So if today was a day of no consequence, I would:
1. tell the stinky student to burn her clothes because they smell every time she sweats.
2. tell the tall, dark, and handsome cashier at Trader Joes that he’s HOT and take his time to bag my groceries.
3. tell the parents at school to slow the eff! down when driving in a school zone.
4. grab the whole foods manger by the neck and tell him/her to stop bringing in “healthy” foods in disguise.
5. tell the people I’ve hurt that I am so so so very sorry regardless of whether they accept my apology or not.
6. tell the people I love/adore/admire/care about that I love them so so so much regardless of whether they love me back or not.
Then I will run and hide my face in a paper bag
Seriously.. speak your mind even if your voice shakes and especially if it makes your heart tremble.