Twelve Days of Yoga: On the 5th day

“On the 5th day of yoga, my guru gave to me…

5 minute peace
4 flying crows
3 om’ing om oms
2 turtle poses
and a Hanuman in a coconut tree.“

We all know the benefits of mediation and the power of stillness, but most of us don’t make time for it.  I confess… every minute of my day is accounted for something else other than stillness.  Lately, my yoga practice is the closest thing to meditation for me.  Even though my practice gets me to turn inward and shut out the noise for a bit, it is still different from a sitting meditation.  It’s challenging for a type-A overachiever like me to sit still.  I used to think it was a waste of time to sit and do nothing.  But over the years I’ve realized that there is tremendous power in doing nothing.  But to fool someone like myself, I’d like to say that it takes some doing to just sit and do nothing  Yep, it takes your effort and intention to just sit and do nothing.  Today, I am making time for 5 minutes of peace… to just hang out in the space between thoughts.

Do it with me.  Drop what you’re doing now and find a quiet space, even shutting your office door and sitting in your chair will work.  Click below:

5 minute heart centered candle light meditation

 

Child’s Pose is For Losers

What do you do when you can’t take child’s pose of all poses?   At one point or another we’ve thought that child’s pose is for losers.  But if you can’t even take child’s pose?  What does that make you?  A lousy loser? 

Well I humbly take that title. 

While I was leading my yoga retreat in Maui earlier this month, I injured my knee.  I wish I could’ve said it was from diving with sharks or something noble like that, but it was from yoga.  My very first real yoga injury.  Not bad for a 6 year streak.  I was in samakonasana (side splits) and was making a transition to hanumanasana (forward splits).   The scene unfolded like the Matrix in slow motion, I saw and felt the top of my left knee go one way and the bottom go another way.  I remember vividly the sensation that slowly arose and finally registered in my mind that I needed to stop and pause.   There was no panic.  No one even realized what was happening to me.  It all happened so quickly but in my mind so slowly.  I was actually teaching this transition and still talking to the class and watching them transition.  No hiccups.  No burps.  No pauses in my teaching.  As my insides pause, the top of the knee and the bottom of the knee came back together and I carried on.  No big deal… until I stood up and felt like my left knee was gonna buckle under.  

So for the last 4 days of the retreat or so, I hobbled along with a brace and polluted the sweet smell of Maui with my tiger balm fragrance.  Of course my ego was not pleased and fueled my desire to continue my practice for the sake of my other body part’s happiness.  

I got on the mat, 5:30am the next day and have never been so humbled by my practice.  I could not even take child’s pose.  Talk about a bruised ego!  Bending it all the way was not pleasant and straightening it all the way wasn’t either.  ”It’s not all bad,” I thought because I could still do 90 degrees.  So I attempted some very very very slow sun salutations followed by some shoulder openers, mild backbends, and long inversions.   I moved so slowly that I only got in 7 poses before I pooped out.  So my practiced primarily involved sitting.  UGH!  You know how much I love sitting

As I sat, I witnessed so many emotions surface… from anger, pity, regret, frustration, sadness, shame, and eventually ended with curiosity.  I wondered, if I can’t even do child’s pose of all poses, why do I even practice?   Why should I continue to practice?

In the silence that morning, I saw more clearly than ever before that my practice in the last 6-7 years has all been about the physical aspects of yoga.  I’ve embraced the other limbs of yoga and they’ve been a guide for my practice , but they have never been the foundation for my practice.  Wow!!!  When I realized that I no longer had the physical ability to do what I knew my practice mainly consisted of, it was like my whole entire yoga life has been knocked down.  ”Now what?!!  You can’t even do child’s pose.  What a loser, right?!”

After I got over the loser thoughts, I really came to appreciate my practice in a whole new light.  The idea that the other limbs of yoga:

1. Yama :  Universal morality
2. Niyama :  Personal observances
3. Asanas :  Body postures
4. Pranayama :  Breathing exercises, and control of prana
5. Pratyahara :  Control of the senses
6. Dharana :  Concentration and cultivating inner perceptual awareness
7. Dhyana :  Devotion, Meditation on the Divine
8. Samadhi :  Union with the Divine

could be the foundation of my practice and not just a sprinkle here and there when it was convenient to study and live them.  It’s been about 3 weeks since the sprain (thank goodness nothing tore) and I still can’t put all my body weight down in child’s pose but a very interesting thing occurred…. the moment I let go of my attachment to my physical practice (what I couldn’t do, still could do, wish I could do), I could see and feel the healing process unfold in slow motion similar to when it got injured.  Funny thing is that some poses that I stopped doing for a few weeks have become stronger without me even trying so hard like I used to.  Hmmmm….  Continue your practice, in whatever form it comes to you in, and all is coming.  Most definitely!  

On an even brighter note, I hope you enjoy this video of my yoga retreat.  I’m so thankful for the opportunity to hold space for these wonderful yogis.  I don’t even regret my sprained knee.  

Wanderlust 2011 Final Thoughts: Meditation

The yoga high of wanderlust is definitely wearing off and some experiences has definitely already worn off.  The golden nugget I will leave you with is the concept of meditation.  I was really excited to finally take a “real” meditation class from a “real” meditation teacher.   I say “real” because I have never taken a dedicated meditation class besides one that is infused in with a yoga class. 

Demetri Velisarius, is a Danda Yoga Flow and a Buddhist meditation teacher.  I was a little hesitant about the class because I couldn’t contemplate how I was going to “sit” for 2 hours when I could barely sit for 30 minutes.  To my surprise his approach was very different from what I had expected.  I enjoyed it.  We asked what is considered meditation?  There’s always a difference in opinion whether “real” meditation requires one to sit on a cushion for a specific amount of time while others believe a moving meditation (whether that’s yoga, gardening, walking, etc) is a “real” meditation.  His response?  It doesn’t matter.  A successful meditation is one that brings you into full awareness of yourself whether you focus on your breath or watch your fleeting thoughts or body sensations.  It’s that time when you stop talking to or listening to that monkey in your mind.

I was elated to hear that.   In my experience, if I force myself to sit, it doesn’t work.  The nugget I want to leave you with is this…. sitting meditation in intervals.  We did this in the class and I loved it.  We sat for 5-10 minutes at a time with a few moments to a minute off.  During the transition time, you allow yourself to move, re-adjust your position, or simply to take the “pressure” off… you’re still in full mindful state so doing jumping jacks in between would probably not be effective. As you progress, you can increase your intervals of sitting.

I’m certainly adding this to my bag of tricks when it comes to meditating on the cushion.  If you’re not a big cushion person like me, rest assured that it’s not the end of the world and you’re not doomed to never find enlightenment.  I had the opportunity to talk with Toe Socks Queen, Kathryn Budig and even this celebriyogi doesn’t sit on a cushion too often.  Her secret?   Meditation is everywhere… in everything you do.  Being at the top of the mountain certainly helps. 

image from: https://www.facebook.com/Wanderlust

Finding Comfort in Chaos

Wow!  Has it really been since May 6th since I posted?!  So it seems the rest of the world has been up to busy work too.. My friend Nancy over at Flying Yogini sums it up well today.  She says, “..somehow I manage to keep on plugging onward in every endeavor because this chaos is where I find comfort.”

Chaos?  Comfort?  They both start with C.  Same thing right?  “More power to you!” someone told me this week.  She asks, “How do I do it?”  Between teaching, commuting, two kids, a dog, volunteering, and now an official PTA board member at our school.  Well as you can see some things went to the bottom of the list (aka this blog).

Remember the angry birds?  That’s what started off this year’s birthday marathon and celebrations.   Here’s a yummy collection:

Mother's day: pineapple pops with pineapple and mango frosting inside.

The next birthday: domo kun!

A cake of cake pops. 40+ bite size pieces of happiness and late nights

marshmallow krispie treats to go

late nights, chocolate crumbs, sticky fingers... all worth it for this one wish

and a party isn't complete without a custom made pinata

Of course after all the birthday festivities, I was in charge of teacher appreciation week.

for the best teacher in the 2nd grade

Our 2nd grade teacher. He really is the best ever!

I am cake pooped!  No more I say.

People wonder how I have time to do all these.  I thought and I wondered in amazement “how do I find time to do all this?”  I think back at those late nights.  I find the whole house quiet. It’s just me, cake, crumbs, chocolate, and my wild imagination. 

For those hours of molding, painting on faces, melting chocolate, wrapping, and cutting, I found comfort.  For that little bit of time, my mind is fully present to what I was doing.  Not thinking about tomorrow or beating myself up for the things past.  It is a culmination of excitement brewing up.. for I couldn’t wait to see the smiles of the ones who will get to sink their teeth into my creation.  

Who knew cake pops would be a meditation.

The M Word

Remember back in September when I committed to a month of mediation for Yoga Month?   I never completed a post on the whole thing, but I did stay committed for that whole month…. and nowadays??

Well, now I know the real purpose for my meditation chair:

Marley curls up and falls asleep after watching me practice for a bit.

I bought this beautiful rattan meditation chair in 2008 hoping to inspire a meditation practice but can probably count on both hands the number of times I’ve actually used it.

I committed to a whole month of the practice this year (and other times too) but why why why can’t I keep it going after the “challenge” is over?   Clearly I have the tools, the know hows, the books, the tapes, the cushions, everything you could possibly need to start a meditation practice.  So why can’t I sit still for the purpose of sitting still?

I’ve just discovered the answer and it’s a simple one.  The “sitting down” thing didn’t stick with me because I tried too hard to mold myself into what I thought a meditation practice was suppose to be (i.e. sit cross legged, hands in lap, eyes closed, serene face etc).   In the spirit of trying to stay committed to a challenge, I’ve lost sight of the idea that there is more than one way to practice an asana, there is also more than one way to meditate.   One size does not fit all.

I think if I didn’t have some sort of meditation during the day, I would go bonkers.  Since adopting Marley, meditation has been more frequent when I sit down late at night and snuggle with him or stroke his belly until he falls asleep.  Listening to the sounds of the leaves crunching underneath our feet during our afternoon walks or just watching him wrestle with his treat stuffed kong toy is quite a meditative activity… even the kids are reaping the benefits of such simple joys.  Other times, I’ve been playing close attention to the pain in my right hip during practice or just plain watching my reactions to my right hip during practice.  Watching and observing sounds like two things one would do in a sitting meditation, eh?

During this stage of my life, meditation is not just something I do by setting the timer for 5 or 10 minutes, but it’s a way to experience my life from a different angle and viewing myself through the lens of awareness.   When I don’t give in to the distractions of my mind, I am in meditation regardless of the activity I’m doing.   Other times when I do choose to sit on a cushion, I practice honing my awareness on moment to moment flow of breath, thoughts, sensations or a mantra that will free my mind of the usual thought patterns.  That sure sounds like an asana practice, eh?   Well I guess that’s why it’s called a meditation “practice” or a yoga “practice.”   We practice.  No goals.  No right.  No wrong.  Just experience!

My Dalai Lama Experience

 

From dalailama.com - his Holiness arrives in San Jose

 

 

It is Dalai Lama week here in the Bay Area this week and I had the pleasure to have lunch with him.  Ok so I got to sit in section 9 where he looked about 12 inches big from where I was…

It was a first ever experience.  I really didn’t know what to expect but to be enlightened with some profound knowledge or just to feel the crowds collected vibe.   I am in awe of the crowd.  I’ve never been at a convention center with 11,000 people and did not witness any pushing, shoving, or even snickers or odd stares.  Parking was not the nightmare I expected it to be.  Going thru security was surprisingly pleasant too.   Airport security should take note! While we waited for the event to start, the room was oddly quiet.  I was expecting it to be loud and filled with anticipation and excitement.  I guess it wasn’t exactly a ball game, eh?  It was a great example of how peace is possible even with 11,000 people packed chair to chair.  No commotion.  No chaos.  Just calm.

With a calm demeanor, His Holiness begins with the statement, “I am happy.”  Not happy to be here (which he obviously is), but just “I am happy.”  How about that?  What if we could wake up each morning and declare, “I am happy.”

 

Picture by Angie Poon

 

 

Almost an hour later, I had to summon my presence because it was difficult to understand him.  At times I felt lost and couldn’t follow his train of thought.  I even felt dumb when everyone started laughing and I didn’t get it because either I couldn’t make out his Yoda accent or I just didn’t get it.  Then I started getting up in my head about how many times I’ve already shifted in my chair struggling to sit up straight in the not so ergomonic chair while the people around me haven’t even moved or flinched.  I slid up and down my chair trying to alleviate my upper back, lower back, legs and honestly at some points was trying to stay awake.  How dare I fall asleep in the presence of His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  The Dalai Lama!  I look up to the monitor and see his calm face and as if he read my mind, I quickly snap out of my head as he begins to talk about how we must not give in to destructive emotions. Timing couldn’t have been better

Destructive emotions propel the self-centered Self.  He says a self-centered attitude is the core of an unhealthy society.  When we have a self-centered attitude, we begin to become double faced which leads to inauthenticity.   He tells us to know our reality.  With an unrealistic view of our reality, we start to get into unrealistic responses, expectations, etc.   The inquiry of what the self is was explored and how the self or soul is separate from body and mind.

Did you know that there is no beginning of the mind?  Thoughts are continuous and mental movement is faster than the speed of light.   So stop trying to block those thoughts in your meditation.

The heart of the talk is his teaching on the Eight Verses of Training the Mind, Awakening the Heart of Compassion.

The text teaches us to focus on developing appropriate respect for the self and others (even those who are the pain in our rears and the scums of society),  embracing challenges and challenging people as opportunities for positive change, offering our services to others as a simple act of giving and receiving like breathing in and breathing out, and cultivating compassion for all beings.  When we practice compassion and respect in this regard, happiness is within reach.  Inner peace is available.  When we are at peace in our hearts, our minds are calm.  When our minds are calm, our bodies are healthy.

Here are the eight verses to start training your mind:

“Eight Verses for Training the Mind is a classic text in the genre of lojong, or mind training. Lojong focuses on purifying one’s thoughts, developing appropriate regard for self and others, turning obstacles into opportunities for positive change, and cultivating compassion. Engaging in these practices generates bodhichitta: the altruistic mind that seeks to awaken for the benefit of all beings and truly perceives reality. The Dalai Lama recites this work daily and describes it as one of his main sources of inspiration.”  (Original text by Geshe Langri Tangpa).

1.
With a determination to achieve the highest aim
For the benefit of all sentient beings,
Which surpasses even the wish-fulfilling gem,
May I hold them dear at all times.

2.
Whenever I interact with someone,
May I view myself as the lowest among all,
And, from the very depths of my heart,
Respectfully hold others as superior.

3.
In all my deeds may I probe into my mind,
And as soon as mental and emotional afflictions arise -
As they endanger myself or others -
May I strongly confront and avert them.

4.
When I see beings of unpleasant character
Oppressed by strong negativity and suffering,
May I hold them dear – for they are rare to find -
As if I have discovered a jewel treasure!

5.
When others, out of jealousy,
Treat me wrongly with abuse, slander or scorn,
May I take upon myself the defeat
And offer to others the victory.

6.
When someone whom I have helped,
Or in whom I have placed great hopes,
Mistreats me in extremely hurtful ways,
May I regard him still as my precious teacher.

7.
In brief, may I offer benefit and joy
to all my mothers, both directly and indirectly,
May I quietly take upon myself
All hurts and pains of my mothers.

8.
May all this remain undefiled
By the stains of the eight mundane concerns;
And may I, recognizing all things as illusion,
Devoid of clinging, be released from bondage.

Breath Control

Yesterday was a “terrific” tuesday (say that with some eye rolling and sarcasm).   The crazy marathon day began with the harp of my alarm clock and an hour to get myself ready, the kids ready, and breakfast on the table.  Everyone was suppose to cooperate because I was doing this solo this morning, right?  WRONG!  The day that I needed the kiddos to cooperate they did the opposite.  Before I knew it, I was in my not so yogic voice and the more I tried to control the situation (and them), the worse it got.  Somehow we managed to leave the house in one piece and barely made it to school when the bell rang.   I thought I was gonna have ample time to get to work until I got caught behind a “mad” mom whose license should be revoked (no, that wasn’t me) that I remembered I forgot all my props for work and had to drive back thru the school traffic again.  Grrrrr!

After finally getting on the freeway (thank goodness there was no traffic),  I thought how much energy did I expend trying to control the uncontrollable situation?  I had 3 classes ahead of me to teach and I already felt like I took 3 classes and was ready for savasana.  Surely there was nothing else I could have possibly done to make the morning more smoother but to take a step back and breathe for a moment.  I suddenly remember the breath meditation I’ve been practicing.  For the rest of the ride to work, I did this:

Take a deep breath in for about 5 counts, hold the breath in for 3 more counts and exhale immediately for 5 counts.  Repeat for about 10 rounds.

Holding the in breath for 2-3 counts lets the body absorb more oxygen thereby giving you more energy.

Then as I approach my destination, I did the following breath control:

Take a deep breath in for about 5 counts, immediately exhale for 5 counts and hold the exhale for 3 more counts before inhaling again.   Repeat about 10 rounds.

Holding the out breath for 2-3 counts lets the body empty deeply, giving the feeling of relaxation and surrender.

Ahhhh the feeling of being able to control one’s breath is much more accessible than trying to control anyone or any situation that is uncontrollable.

I had 10 hours of sleep last night so I feel like a brand new body today and ready to take on tonight’s full moon… she did a number on me yesterday

Can you believe this little guy is capable of being a little monster?  I guess I can’t stay mad at him cause we were early getting to school today and he says, “let’s do some yoga in the sun right now.”

strong warrior before school

Meditation Day 15

Can you believe I bought this book probably about 6 months ago?  I am re-decorating my bedroom and while digging out my nightstand, I find this book amongst a heap of other books that are waiting to be read.

So perfect for my September meditation commitment.  It is a fresh (so far) book on meditation techniques as taught by seven different teachers as seen on the cover.

What I am working on in my meditation practice 15 days into my commitment is to stop quantifying meditation to 5, 10, 30 minutes or whatever time frame that I often force upon myself.

How appropriate it was when I read the first few pages of the book that the author states, “meditation is not something to be done once or twice a day — it’s a full-time spiritual ambiance that ideally permeates every moment of our lives.”   He talks about his grandfather who was his role model: “Gramps regularly would pause when things got too hectic, lean against a fence post or sit down for just a few minutes, and allow his usual radiant demeanor to return to him.  Such short meditative breaks seemed an integral part of his daily life.”

This week I am focusing on 7 verbal expressions the author outlines as a technique, each one by the 7 masters:

1.  I am breathing freely.
2. My mind is now quiet.
3.  I accept the world just as it is.
4.  I love myself just as I am.
5.  My heart is open to receive God’s (The Universe’s) healing help.
6.  I know who I am.
7.  I am here, now, in bliss.

AND of course to remind myself to do what Gramps did… to stop and pause to let my “usual radiant demeanor to return to me” when the days get crazy as they usually do.

Loving Kindness: Some Hair and Meditation

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair…” goes something like that of the fairy tale princess who was locked up in a castle tower and let her hair down for the prince to enter.   I could hear The Daddy saying, “Oh hell no if I’m gonna let some prince climb her hair to get to her room!”  Well that was 10 inches and 3 years ago.

For The Daughter’s 4th birthday, we agreed to chop her locks for Locks of Love and eliminate any possible future love affairs.  At that time she didn’t fully understand the meaning behind the donation except that she was going to give some kid who didn’t have hair some hair.   At least that’s what I thought she understood…

Fast forward 3 more years and 10 more inches and viola… Jazpunzel:

The Daughter still remembers the good deed she did and was very happy to do it again.  We look through Locks of Love’s website and browse through their gallery.  She was ready.  As I comb her long locks, we began to chat about Locks of Love and how they are going to use her hair to make a wig for some lucky kid.  The conversation diverted to her pondering about what her friends were going to think about her hair now.  “What do you mean?” I asked.  “Well… last year some kids would say that I had the longest hair in the class and some kids would ask why I always put my hair up and some would play with my pony tail and this year I definitely have the longest hair in my class,”  she said.  “How does that make you feel?” I asked?  “I don’t know… I don’t really care what they say,” she says and then goes on to ponder about, “I wonder what other kids say to the kid that is bald.”  “What do you think?” I asked.   “I bet they get teased a lot,” she says.   “You’re probably right,” I tell her.  “Well I hope my hair is going to make them feel beautiful so that they won’t care if people tease them ever again,” she says.   Can you guess how W I D E my heart was smiling?

Here we go… 10 inches.  Snip. Snip. Snip.

We are so blessed to have a girl with lovely locks… her hair when bunched together is more than 2 inches in diameter!  But we are more blessed to have a girl with lovely locks who understands with compassion!

Beat this Rapunzel!  30 inches total!  Love (and hair) is meant to be given away.

Jumping for JOY!

I can actually jump higher now that I’ve lost 30 inches of hair

Look at that bounce!  Shampoo commerical?

Love.  Laugther.  Joy.  Purely!

She wouldn’t want to be called a princess, but she’s my princess.

I’m the luckiest mom ever!

Meditation Days 6 and 7

A quick note that I haven’t stopped meditating yet… naturally days 6 and 7 have been focused on a loving kindness meditation.  Without getting too deep (save it for another post), loving kindness meditation helps sweeten habitual negative mind patterns and cultivating selfless and altruistic love.

The practice involves reflecting on 4 different people. Try this:

Begin in a comfortable seat.  Sit tall without strain or too much effort.  Close your eyes.  Take several deep breaths to create and clear your space.

Feel your heart beat and within that rhythm is a conversation.  What feelings emerge if your heart were to express any wishes it would have for you today, tomorrow, and any enduring time?  Wishes that are general enough to evoke feelings of warmth and comfort for yourself, for your friends, for your family, for anyone and everyone in general?  For example, “May I be free from anger.  May I be free from pain.  May I be free from sadness. May I be free from all suffering.  May I be healthy.  May I be strong.  May I be happy.  May I be really really happy. May I be at peace”

You can now put these feelings or wishes into a mantra (or phrases) and repeat them over and over several times.  Notice how you feel when you repeat these phrases?  Do you really want them for yourself?   When you’ve lost the moment, don’t worry too much and begin again.  Repeat these phrases until you can really rest your mind in the heart of these mantras.

Then call to mind someone who you care deeply about like a good friend, someone who inspires you, someone you love.  Bring their being into your presence by visualizing them and saying their name silently to your self.  Then repeat the mantras for them.  For example:  “May you be free from anger.  May you be free from pain.  May you be free from sadness.  May you be free from all suffering.  May you be healthy.  May you be strong.  May you be happy.  May you be really really happy.  May you be at peace.”  Repeat until you can rest your mind in these words.

Then call to mind someone who you don’t have any strong feelings for or against.  A neutral person is someone you might see regularly like the person who checks you out at the grocery store, the school crossing guard, etc.  Bring their being into your presence and repeat the phrases above to them.   Repeat until you feel you can rest your mind in the phrases.

Then call to mind someone who you are having difficulties with.  Bring their being into your presence and repeat the phrases above to them.   Repeat until you feel you can rest your mind in the phrases.

Then repeat the mantra for all beings everywhere.  For example:  “May all beings be well, may all beings be happy, may all beings be free from suffering.”

It’s also appropriate to repeat the mantra for all animals everywhere.

After you do this, bring the awareness back to yourself.  Your heart center.  Feel the pulse of the heart beat and any feelings attached to it.  Imagine your love radiating from your heart.

Then simply let go of your act of wishing others well and notice your breath.

Sit until you are ready to open your eyes and end your meditation by actually bringing this loving kindness into the world.

Meditation Day 5: During Class

Today, I decided to take a spur of the moment trip back to SF and attend Duncan’s 2nd day workshop.  I wasn’t on planning on to, but figured since he’s here and accessible for me to learn from, why not seize the moment and make it happen?  Best idea ever!  I am so overwhelmed with knowledge that I don’t even know where to begin to process or even write about it.  So… I’ll meditate on it

Speaking of meditation… at the end of the workshop, we didn’t take a savasana.  Instead we sat in the silence.   It was perfect.  Not only did I get my day’s meditation commitment, but being in silence with a group of people was very powerful because in that “silence there is peaceful purpose”, says Duncan who never gave us any cues or guided imagery.   For a moment, I wanted to open my eyes and look at what was happening or what he was doing, but something weird just came over me and I trusted the moment.  Feel deep into silence.  No body twitching or mind wandering.  I don’t even remember thinking about anything.  Then the sound of aum brought me back.

So what was the feeling that came over me and allowed me to surrender into trusting in the space?  Emma asked this question on the post from yesterday about whether it’s ok for a teacher to meditate while students are in savasana.  I’ve tried it but it hasn’t worked for me.  My mind is constantly worried about the time fearing that if I go deep into my meditation, I might leave them in savasana too long or not give them enough time.   I do sit and hold space (or at least try to.)   I try to focus on creating a space where students can trust in their surrender.  I mean, it’s hard to surrender in a class full of sweaty people.  I’ve been to classes where the teacher doesn’t even say a word but there’s something magical about the space.  Then I’ve been to classes where the teacher leaves the room and you fend for yourself.   The feeling of worrying about who’s peeping at you will prevent even the most tired practitioner from surrendering.  Some students can’t even surrender no matter what I do because of their experiences that always keep them on guard.  So it’s even more important for me to project the calm vibe that I want the room to be like.  I often visualize my breath as the carrier of peace.  At the same time, I am aware of the room… the sounds, the unease that stirs, the snoring and the peace that few are able to drop into.  I try to hold the space without my stories or worldly concerns. It’s a different awareness meditation where I am focused on the energy of the space instead of focusing on noticing my body or mind wandering.  It’s interesting how focused I can be when it comes to doing it for other people.

A note about closing the eyes.  Many teachers keep their eyes closed the entire time from savasana to namastes.  Sometimes I do, sometimes I open my eyes when I “wake” them up.  Well the time I decided to open my eyes at the end of savasana, I noticed people were putting too much effort and strain to get up from savasana to seated.  Many of them rolled back onto their backs and rock and rolled up instead of pushing up from the right side.  Students don’t get this part… that they should press their left hand down to slowly come up, making the least amount of movement as possible.  It’s a wonder why so many students are feeling anxious again before they even roll up their mats.  Not only did they disturb the peace they were *hopefully* in, but they also shocked their spine by rolling up so fast after being on their back.  Point is, I wouldn’t have noticed this if I kept my eyes closed all the time.