Dreams Do Come True

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”  – Walt Disney

Nicely said Mr. Disney.  Actually it even kinda sounds cheesy and cliche’ish until one day your dreams do come true.   Things start to materialize before your eyes and all of a sudden you realize your dream is no longer a dream.  You pinch yourself and it hurts… because your dream is now your reality.

I wish upon a star…

I’m not talking about the dreams you have of bears chasing you or those graphic dreams of dark shadows lurking in the alley ready to pounce on you type of dreams.  Thank goodness those don’t come true.  I’m talking about those “I wish upon a star” where I really really really want something badly type of dreams.

Well even the shiniest star alone won’t make your dreams come true.  You won’t just attract your dream to life but there’s something to be said about declaring your dreams and whole heartedly wanting them to come true.

Some of My Dreams…

I don’t want to boost, but this past week has been a domino effect of my dreams coming true.  Is it even possible that 3 dreams can come true in one week?   I’m pinching myself and *ouch* it hurts… I’m awake so it must be real.   As far as I can remember, I’ve always dreamt about being an entrepreneur.  Never in my wildest dreams did I know I would own a yoga studio.  When I realized that owning a yoga studio was THE dream, I dreamt big.  Not big as in the Taj Mahal of studios, but big as in BIG on love, community, and friendship.  I dreamt that people would practice next to each other, mat to mat with the sound of the breath filling the room, sweat dripping on the floor  and no one would even gringe because they were all friends.  I am still in awe as I witnessed the room fill up this weekend and we packed the studio to maximum capacity.  It was the hottest mess I’ve ever seen and no one complained once that it was too crowded.   I am grateful!   Then, I found out that I accidentally completed my 500 hour teacher training.  I started my 500 hour about a year and a half ago and just kept on attending trainings.  I enjoyed them so much that it didn’t behoove me keep track of the modules I had completed.  Nice surprise!  and definitely one of my dreams that I wanted to fulfill.  The 3rd dream just came true today as I write this post.   I am going to Bali in a few weeks to co-facilitate a yoga retreat with my teacher Deb.    She had asked me a few weeks ago to go with her but <insert a long list of excuses of why I can’t go even though it would be huge dream come true>.  It’s interesting to see what happens when you share your dream out loud with others.  The Universe does really conspire to make it happen especially if you whole heartedly want it to come true.  And so I am going to Bali.  Don’t be so jealous cause this is the trip from hell!!!!!  38hours of travel time!!!!   <— a little ounce of sympathy please  BTW, you can come too.  It’s not too late to book the Bali trip.

Dreams really do come true….

They come true all the time.  I look back at the last month and I could list a handful of dreams that have come true.  They may not be those big whopper dreams but each little wish I’ve made have manifested.   One of them is that I got to share yoga with my mom.  Ever since I started to practice yoga about 10 years ago and even in the last 7 years of teaching, I never asked my mom if she would like to come to my class.  I assumed that she would not enjoy the power vinyasa style I was teaching.  I assumed these things because of what she has said in the past about yoga and her limited movement, etc.  But last month she came to visit me and saw my studio for the first time.  She was very excited for me and in her joy, I asked her if she wanted to come take a class.  ”YES!” was the immediate response.  I couldn’t believe it.   Having my mom in yoga class was a dream I’ve secretly had but never had the courage to ask her for fear of her rejecting the idea.  Boy! was I wrong!  I will never ever assume again.

Walt was right…

Dreams do come true.  But not by wishing upon a star… but by having the courage to pursue them.  Dreams require you to be in action in order for them to come to fruition.  Sometimes it takes a lot of money to make a dream come true.  Sometimes it takes a lot of patience.  Sometimes it takes a lot of commitment.  Sometimes it takes a lot of hard work.  Sometimes it takes a lot of support from those who care about your dreams.  Sometimes it takes a lot of passion.  Mostly it takes a lot of belief.  Believe in yourself and your dreams.

Thank you for helping my dreams come true… you know who you are.

Death Dreams

Ever have death dreams?  It’s been over a year since I had this type of nightmare.  I used to see killers in my dreams or watch myself die several nights a week.  Some dream interpreters said:

To see a killer in your dream, suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.

To dream that you have been killed, suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions and conscience. The dream refers to drastic changes that you are trying to make. There is a characteristic that you want to get rid of or a habit that you want to end within yourself. Killing represents the killing off of the old parts and old habits. Alternatively, the dream represents feelings of being let down or betrayed by someone in your waking life. You are feeling overwhelmed, shocked and disappointed.

These were all very symbolic of what I was feeling at that time because I was struggling with making some really major decisions.   I was also in need of some very deep emotional and physical healing.   It all made sense.  Sure enough those dreams died off as I got my stuff together.

Right now, I *thought* I had my stuff together… until I woke up all sweaty and exhausted this morning because I had a death dream.  I didn’t think anything of it because I’ve just been hearing about death this past month.  I go thru my day and teach my 3 classes.  No big deal… I even forgot about it after that first class.  Obviously it’s made it’s way into my mind again as I get ready for bed.  Why am I thinking about this again?

In my dream, I was watching myself die.  My dying self was trying to reach out to my watching self for help.  I couldn’t help.  I tried but as I reached out there was a force that prevented me.  When I woke up, my biceps were so sore as if I did too many bicep curls.

Another interpretation:

The message may be that your old self needs to be left behind. This may mean that you must stop carrying around with you the crippling burden of your past {irrational guilt-feelings and martyrdom complex, or any other negative self-programming}; and, instead, you must open yourself to what the present moment is offering. Alternatively, the ‘old self’ may be old attachments, habits, ambitions, values, goals; in which case the dream is telling you that the only way forward for you lies through giving these up and looking deeper within yourself for better values, etc. {where ‘better’ means more in tune with your real self}.

Hmmmm.. opening myself up to what the present moment is offering.  I’m exploring this.  There are some things that I’m unsure of right now (remember when I was brewing up some stuff?  It’s happening again.. part 2).   No doubt, I could sure give up some things, old attachments, self judgements, the crippling past (dag-nab-it! didn’t I already let go of the past?!).

I think we could all take a bite of that last interpretation to some degree.

In some twisted way, I hope I have this same dream again…

No You Can’t

No you can't!

 

When someone says “No you can’t!” or “that’s a ridiculous idea!” or worse yet “you should try x,y,or z instead…” and you think to yourself, “WTF!  Watch me do it!” or “Who the heck are you?  You don’t know me!?” or “I will prove you wrong…” is that ego or motivation?

I am a do-er and when someone tells me I can’t do something, I am sent on a mission.  Maybe to prove them wrong or to prove to myself that I can.  In fact many of the successes in my life has been a result of many “oh, yes I can missions.”  I don’t have any memories of ever second guessing myself because someone told me “No, you can’t.”  These negative people always fueled my motivation to succeed.  However this week, I was shaken… stirred even.. to the point where I am second guessing myself and ready to back off.

Remember my post about risk?  I’ve just begun to lay the foundation to making one of my dreams come true and possibly face the risk of failing.  Well before I even got anywhere, there was someone there already telling me I was gonna fail.  And another person shows up to reinforce what the first person already told me.  These people didn’t even know me prior to me calling them so WTF is right!  But these people were experts in their field so I was propelled into a whirlwind of doubts.

I think, think, think until my thoughts circle around with “yes you can, no you can’t” and I am paralyzed in my thoughts…  right before class!  I was not in the mood to teach but went anyway because in reality yoga is my J-O-B.  A good crowd shows up and I am energized.  As I walk the room as the class starts, one student lays in child’s pose on a green mat that had the words DREAM gracefully written across the back edge.  I am reminded how I stood on the edge, just moments ago, of my dream shattering before it even began.  Just one word and I am back on track.  (I’m all about signs and stuff so green mat = go for it! dream!  super corny, I know  but it works for me) So naturally we focused on dreams in class.   “What one pose do you often dream about getting into?” I ask.   “Hold that thought and really let it land in your body,” I tell them.  “What is it going to take for you to execute that dream pose?” I ask.   “Strength and flexibility may just be the obvious factors, but more deeply, what can you let go of?  What can you surrender?  Where can you give yourself some space?”  It is so true in the asana practice, that in order to expand and grow, we need to create space physically and mentally.  Often times that space is just a simple letting go of doubts, fear of failure, or even negative people.  A hint of surrender will invite the Universe to take you on your journey.

So I believed my own words   And for every negative feedback people gave me, two more positive ones shot my way… all because I chose to not listen to them.  When I taught class today, a brand new student walked in wearing a shirt that read, “Dreamer.“ When I checked my email after class, I get a note from a good friend reminding me to “say something really deeply loving to yourself… and believe it.  She knows what she’s talking about!”

Don’t you just love it when things like this “just happens” and the right words or right people “just happens” to be there at the right time?   I love teaching!  It’s a great J-O-B!

Now off to my mission… with my ego, motivation, or whatever you wanna call it.

DREAM! (photo: nataliedee.com)

Fortunes

I didn’t win a fortune in Vegas last week, but got a fortune.  This was the best $.50 spent in a non-slot machine.  She said:

Maybe I should've been looking into her crystal ball?

“You’ve been expecting a call.  Someone is going to call and discuss your future.  Ask him or her what you want for it shall be given to you.  If you knock on the door of opportunity if shall be open to you.  For only if you ask will you receive and find what you seek.  Talk over your plans and be honest.  You can if you think you can.  When you speak remember if you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life which you have imagined, you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.  You’re not one to accept second best.”

Love it!  I love corny jokes and corny fortunes, especially the ones from fortune cookies.  I always wondered why my fortune cookies never came true until Nadia pointed out that I needed to eat the cookie first before reading the fortune.  Oh DUH!!!  Maybe I shoud’ve looked into the crystal ball of this fortune?

I believe that we can manifest our desires and dreams thru real intention.   My hubby has told me that when I want something, I will get it.  “Really?” I said.  “Yup!  When you have your mind set on something, you don’t let it go and I’ve learned not to resist you especially when you want that new lulu tank.” Haha!

Hmmmm… then why are some of my wishes not coming true?  The answer is simple. It’s resistance.  It’s doubt.  It’s lack of confidence.  I noticed certain goals or dreams I’ve set for myself haven’t mainfested yet because I’m not 100% certain I want it to come true for many reasons.  When I know deep in my heart that I want it, the Universe will give it to me for She knows when I’m ready to receive.  Sometimes my cup is too full and there is no room for anything else.  Sometimes it’s a simple act of letting go of something to receive something else.  Other times it’s asking myself what I really really really want.  It’s a hard question.

When I got home this week, I felt more confident about giving up one of my classes that I wasn’t fully giving my energy to.  Initially I was feeling terrible about leaving the several students who were committed to practicing with me, but in the end I knew I had to give it up in order to recharge and fill up.  The moment I felt at ease with this decision, I received a phone call from someone who wanted to discuss my future with them…. the possibility of offering corporate yoga at a big tech company.  Thanks fortune teller woman!  Hmmmm…. we’ll see where this road leads me.

What are you trying to manifest in your life?

When I Grow Up

The other day, my 7 year old talks to me about how much her friend wants to be a veteranian when she grows up.  Her friend talks about how she can’t wait to grow up and take care of kitty cats.  So naturally I asked Jasmine what she wanted to be when she grew up.  Last year her answer to this question was “a yoga teacher” hehehe and I didn’t pay her to say that   Then she wanted to be an artist and an author.  This time her answer was, “I don’t know.  I don’t think I want to be anything but a kid.  Being an adult doesn’t seem like much fun.  You guys work too much.  Mom, can I just be a kid and get paid?”

“Sure!” I said.  “Sweetie, never forget this.  Find something you love to do.  Do it the best you can and get paid for it.”  I wish I learned that when I was 7 years old.  One of my favorite authors, Deepak Chopra, told his children this.  How often do we ask our kids what they want to be when they grow up?  And how often do we persaude them to pursue a job that will make them lots of money.  Jasmine goes on to say, “How come some people work too much?  Do they get a lot of money?”  “Probally,” I say.  “When do they get to play?” she says.  “Probably not that often,” I say.  “Hmmm then why do they need all that money?” she says.  I tell her once again, that just because someone makes a lot of money, doesn’t mean they are happy doing what they’re doing.  “OK.  Then I just want to be a kid cause I have lots of fun,” she says ending our conversation.

Why can’t you choose to change your mind like a child does?  Perhaps you’ve choosen a path way back when and now come to find that you’re not having fun.  Ok so mortgages, bills, responsibilities, yadah yadah ya… these will always be there so is that inner childlike voice within you.  So maybe quiting your day job is not realistic, but what shifts can you make to let your inner kid out again?

So one week into my running and I find myself today running in the rain.  It was the most fun I’ve had in such a long time.  The last time I ran in the rain was probably when I was 7 or something.  The run started out with the sun peeking out and 15 minutes into the run, it pours for about 5 minutes.  Nowhere to duck under so I keep going.  I was already wet from sweating anyway.  For a second I could hear my mom in my head telling me to come inside or I’ll catch a cold.  I remember this voice in my head as I picked up my boy from school and refrain from yelling at him to “don’t jump in that puddle.” Instead we both jumped in.  What fun!

Ok if jumping in the puddle and running in the rain is not your thing, how about these to bring out your inner kid:

1.  the next time you have to make a choice, use eenie meenie mynee mo

2. have a water balloon fight (try it in the rain)

3. make your next accomplishment one that was achieved from a double-dare

4. declare a “do-over” the next time you make a mistake

5. being old was anyone with two digits in their age (meaning 10 and over)

6. tell a really silly knock knock joke (Knock Knock. Who’s there.  Dishwasher.  Dishwasher who?  Isn’t dishwasher the funniest joke ever? LOL)

7. eat ice cream and count it as meeting one of your food groups for the day

8. tell your mom that you love her randomly throughout the day even if you are doing #2 in the bathroom

9. next time you have an ouchie, ask someone to kiss it and make it better

10. And finally promise yourself to repeat these and bring back those times when you can make a promise and “cross your heart and hope to die.”

The kid in you is in there, no matter what your profession or job description tells you otherwise!

Emotional Roller Coaster

Emotional roller coasters are far from the adrenaline rushing theme park ride.   They are exhausting!  To start it off, my sweet tooth led the way when I got inspired by Domestic Dharma’s blog on chocolate peanut butter cups.  Looks simple and DELICIOUS!  Off to get the ingredients.  While strolling at Whole Foods, I found some coconut flour and decided to experiment with the recipe.

I was trying to keep the chocolate vegan and raw so I used cacao powder.  Didn’t end up using the cacao nibs because the cholocate mix was already too powerful. The peanut butter was freshly grounded from unsalted roasted organic valencia peanuts (the best!). Coconut juice was used to mix the cacao powder and coconut flour.  I was getting worried when the mixture turned out to be look and feel like a brownie batter… but then again what’s wrong with brownie batter, eh?

It didn’t exactly come out the way I wanted it to, but it was sure tasty.

Chocolate bottom with peanut filling on top

Tah-dah!

Move over reese pieces

Next batch will be just plain melted chocolate with no coconut flour.  The texture was not quite right as it did feel like a brownie.  Needless to say, the kiddos and I got our serving of antioxidant flavonoids for the day.

Clean up is even more fun

After several helpings of these guiltless pleasures, I topped the evening off with some great yoga from a new teacher I’ve never taken.  She kicked my asana!  This is where my roller coaster takes a big dip!  We talk about emotions and up until this class, I’ve been high on some cacao flavonoids until fear kicks in.  Handstands!  Drop backs (from handstand to the wall)! Partner handstands!  Partner drop backs.  Did I say drop backs and handstands?!  I thought I’ve gotten over the letting go of upsidedownness fear phase but it started to stir in me again.  I knew it but I didn’t want to know it.  Before my fear got a grip on me,  I laughed in the face of my fear and was able to let go and experience it… or maybe it was the cacao flavonoids that gave me the umpf! power to try it.  It was actually fun and comical.  I guess yoga did it’s purpose to help me laugh.

Once the chocolate high wore out, I begin to feel the effects of my emotional roller coaster.  I am fully aware of how my emotions have such a profound effect on my body.  I naturally try to “control” my emotions so they won’t manifest into pains in my body, but the more I try to control them, the worse they get.  There is so much truth in the saying that “in order to heal, we must feel.”  Emotions are real.  They won’t go away unless we experience them.   Being under the influence of several dark chocolate peanut butter cups, I was up in my head about “I can handle this” and decided to stuff down my emotions. “Oh no you won’t,” says Miss Universe thing.

I had the most dreadful nightmare last night.  My emotions playing out in my dreams.  I dreamt I was going to get killed.  I had 5 hours left to live.  My killers followed me around like a shadow while I frantically made my arrangements to have everything taken cared of before my death.  Before I would die, I’m awaken by my alarm clock 5:30am.  Get ready for class!  Ugh!  With the dream fresh in my head, I google “killing in dreams” and before finding the results I already knew what this dream meant.  There were several variations on the meaning of this dream but this one really hit home:

“To see a killer in your dream, suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off.  You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.” (www.dreammoods.com)

7 of the 20 or so needles

I am scared but I will laugh because if I can’t be my authentic self then I might as well be dead.  So off to the acupunturist to open up my channels and free my blockages.  This has been the most painful acupuncture visit in my entire experience.  I was pretty effed up.  I felt like a human pin cushion with needles at the base of my neck, up and down my spine, forearms, and feet.  The 7 on my ear came home with me and had to stay on for 2 more hours.

After releasing some emotions today, I am completely exhausted and am skipping my asana practice.  Tonight my practice comes in the form of compassion (aka needing rest) and just feeling what I’m feeling and letting them go.. otherwise more needles on saturday… yikes!